Hospitality After Covid. Part 3. Guests Who Break The Rules...

Although no one quite knows what procedures will be in place when restaurants reopen, one thing we do know is that there will be a certain number of new rules and procedures to keep you and your guests safe.

As with any rules, there will be guests who break them, some accidentally and some brazenly. In this blog, we'll look at how to deal with those guests without creating a drama.

The first thing we want to do is create a bit of space between when we witness a guest doing something wrong and when we go and speak to them.

Usually, when a guest does something wrong the staff around them are triggered by the guest's behaviour. That trigger leads to thoughts, those thoughts influence behaviour, our self-awareness drops and we then start triggering the guest into a similar cycle by the way we communicate with them. Both the team member and the guest get stuck in these cycles which ultimately leads to stress, conflict and creates a bit of a scene...which is sometimes filmed and then plastered all over social media. Not good.

So by creating some space between the triggering event (the guest breaking the rules) and the behaviour that follows we break the cycle, increase our self-awareness and take control of the way we communicate to the guest. We start to use the most appropriate style of communication to resolve the situation instead of just snapping at the guest.

So where do create space in this behavioural cycle? Well, we can't create space between the trigger and the thoughts. That's essentially our very first reaction. We can't really change that because we don't know it's going to happen. A guest won't tell us what they're about to do (though that would make things easier). In that particular moment, you will have a reaction, it might be thoughts, a change in body language, a feeling of tension. These changes are useful because it's a signal that we have been triggered by something. Now when we realise we've been triggered we then have a choice.

“We can either allow those behaviours to continue and speak to the guest in a heightened state, or we can take a moment to get back into the emotional space we were in before. At Hop, this is what we define as Emotional Intelligence. ”

We can either allow those behaviours to continue and go and speak to the guest in a heightened state, or we can take a moment to get back into the emotional space we were in before. Like a mini reset. Back into that state of calmness where we are self-aware. At Hop, this is what we define as Emotional Intelligence.

We believe you can't change your instant reaction to something because you don't know that it's going to happen, but by noticing the shifts in your energy and resetting yourself you change the behaviour that would have followed breaking the behaviour cycle.

There are a few ways you can do this but here's some of the simplest. When you notice a shift in your thoughts, energy or body language stop and breathe. A few deep breaths where the exhale is twice as long as the inhale. This type of breathing gets you back into the parasympathetic nervous system - the relaxed one. Next, set a clear intention in your mind if how you want that guest to feel. Remember we're trying to get them to do something so a genuine connection here is key. Think about making them feel relaxed, safe, welcome, valued. Usually, we do the opposite by making the guest feel stressed, shamed, stupid or in the wrong which creates conflict and puts up barriers.

By having a clear intention in your mind of how you want the other person to feel we start to control those negative triggering thoughts, heighten our self-awareness and bring us back into the present. Ultimately giving us the best possible chance of getting that connection.

Then finally, accept that guests are going to break the rules. We're not saying every guest, or that the rules aren't important, but accept that a minority of guests will break the rules. If we can accept it will happen, when it does our reaction to it will be smaller because we've already anticipated the triggering behaviour. The smaller our reaction the easier it will be to reset ourselves, the easier it will be to get back into that calm, present state.

The quicker we can get back in that calm, present state, the quicker we can get on with building connections with the rest our guests and fellow team members. Doing the job we love - providing meaningful, genuine Hospitality to the people around us.